A while back i set up a truck pull to raise some money for Macmillan and here is my story from that page, i wrote this once and didn’t go back and read through it as i knew i would change my mind about some of the things i have said on there.
Everything i write on this page will be honest and hopefully help someone out going through something similar.
Here it is 🙂
Ok so i am not really sure on how to word the below so please bare with me when reading i am writing as i talk ha.
Start of last year i noticed a lump on my throat and done what 90% of guys would do and thats just ignore it and carry on like normal. Which at the time it thought was fine, then very quickly i started to suffer with a lot of anxiety over the smallest of things and depression on a level i have never felt before.
Then one day i started to notice the lump had grown and i was continuously aware that the lump was there, so i decided to use my works health insurance for once and get the lump checked out. So after a ultrasound and a biopsy of the lump it all came back clear and i was feeling very relieved. The doc suggested i have the lump removed along with half of my thyroid due to where the lump was.
2 weeks after the operation i went to get the results from the operation and this is when i got the bombshell dropped on me. I remember sitting in the room with the doctor and my mum and having the doc say the words “right so when we done the original scan it came back clear, the biopsy also came back clear” it was at this point i could feel the room getting smaller by the second and all i was thinking is “oh shit hes about to say but” then he said it “its a good job we went ahead with the procedure as the lump was cancerous” To be completely honest i dont really remember much of what was said after this and somehow managed to hold it together and go to work and finish a day of work. Not going to lie there was a few moments that day when i had to get into a room on my own and broke down in tears a few times. That day was a complete blur to me and i managed to not let anyone see just what a state i was behind my smile. I remember telling one of my good friends in the office and she gave me such a big hug thinking back on it got no idea how i didn’t fall to the floor.
I think it was later that day or the next where i had a phone call with a friend from a gym which really effected how i mentally dealt with this, he pretty much told me in his way to get my head out of my ass focus on my health and to deal with this battle i am going through both with my body and with my mind. Which was the starting point to me getting my head in a better shape to deal with this.
Few days after this the owner of my gym Genesis rang me up and said how hes not sure why i cant actually lift, then told me hes going to start picking me up and taking me into the gym in the mornings as it will be good for my body and for my mind. Then would take me through very limited sessions. Which helped me massively so thank you.
So next part of this procedure was to have the rest of my thyroid removed to make sure the cancer hadn’t spread to that side. So 2 weeks later i go back into hospital to have that side removed and after the procedure both my lungs actually went on to collapsing which made the night a bit scary if i am honest. Laying there completely off my face on morphine and having a doc come over to me all concerned and say ” right your lungs have collapsed we need to do an x-ray” if i wasn’t busy chasing the morphine dragon i think i would of completely freaked out.
So again once i went back to get the results from the 2nd operation i get told that its a good job they took out that side of my thyroid as there was a 2nd cancerous lump hiding in there. Which at this point was just dam annoying, so as a result of this i then have to go through with radiotherapy. It was at this point i was introduced to Macmillan and the nurse was one of the nicest people i have ever come across, gave me an information pack and told me about the online community on the Macmillan website which i signed up to that night and asked questions about my procedure and what i had wrong with me. Seriously seriously helped to put my mind at ease.
Couple of weeks later i am admitted into the hospital for this procedure which was a very bizarre experience, after 2 weeks of dieting ( WHICH I HATED ) i am sat in this room in a very posh hospital ( thank you health insurance ) and 2 old English professors come walking into the room with a box covered in radioactive warnings. Not going to lie at this point i was like “woahhh” so they give me this tablet to pop and tell me i need to drink lots of water. So that day alone i think i must of drank 5 litres of water and ran to the toilet on more then one occasion. So after this day passes i get a call in the morning as no one was allowed to come near me due to the radiation in my system and she tells me i can order whatever food i want. Pretty sure i cleared them out of food while i was there and actually gained weight once the procedure had finished.
I really dont know if i have gone into too much detail with this section but if reading this can help someone going through something similar then i am glad. I am 3 weeks officially free of cancer and feeling mentally stronger then i have ever felt in my life.
Couple of things which really helped me through this was the strength my dad had when he went through cancer when i was 11, even this far away from time i so was inspired to not let this beat me by the strength he had when he went through it!
Realizing that talking about your feelings is not a bad thing at all and doesn’t show weakness, the support i have had from my friends and family ( mum + dad have been a rock to me ) is there unconditionally.
Also a friend of mine is going through some pretty bad things with his health and a film maker made a documentary about him and his lifting. And he was asked ” if you could tell anyone going through something similar what would it be” to which he answered ” its ok, however you are feeling is ok” and how no one has the right to tell you how you should be feeling.
So in closing thank you very much for taking the time to read this and hopefully helping to support a great cause.